Moobs, bingo wings & duck sauce

My arms are still killing me after my inaugural attempts to do press-ups.

I just looked in my cupboard and I’m 100% sure that anything currently contained within a jam jar is safe and secure from my lascivious culinary appetites. It’s annoying because I’d really like a gherkin – but they’re just gonna have to wait.

They don’t know how close they came to oblivion, the lucky little pickled b******s.

I’m unperturbed however. My walk up and along the Malvern hills took around four days to wear off but I felt utterly fab when it had.

Despite my current malady however I still executed on the promise I made to myself and popped out to my nearby Argos to buy the dumbbells I mentioned in my last post (via Starbucks of course, as no-one needs to be unnecessarily hasty on a Bank Holiday Sunday morning.)

The first thing that struck me was that the box was (with all the bits in) 20kg. This seems blindingly obvious as I type it (particularly as I was buying a 20kg set of dumbbells) but I don’t often hold this kind of weight in my arms. It’s REALLY REALLY HEAVYand I had to lay it on top of a nearby bin while I opened the boot of my car.

It actually translates to 3st 2lbs.

I hadn’t made this pounds and ounces connection in my mind when I handed my debit card to the lady at the checkout – and I now realise that everywhere I went before I started losing weight I had four and a half of these boxes with me.

As I suspect is common with many people who buy these kinds of things I appear to have purchased something that (at least with all the weight discs on) I’m not yet strong enough to make the most of. My hope however is that with time this will get easier and I’ll be able to do more and more – eventually being able to do pull-ups as well as proper press-ups.

Today isn’t that day though.

I took all but the 2.5kg discs off both of the dumbbells and tried 20 reps on each arm doing bicep curls. After several breaks I also did several other variations to work different muscle groups – particularly chest and triceps.

How should I describe how my arms feel right now?


I think I’m going to go with…

‘Ow. Ow. Ow. Owwwwww.’

Old cramp has joined forces with new cramp and it’s clear that there’s a LOT of room for improvement here. It’s going to take a while to tone my upper body – but my mission to banish both boy boobs and bingo wings has started!!!!

I also took a leaf out of a fellow Slimming World member’s book today. I told her yesterday that I looked ‘like Babar the elephant had developed epilepsy’ when I danced and that because of this it was unlikely I would be engaging in any dancing in the future.

On reflection that was a silly thing to say.

She reminded me that it was a bad idea to close yourself off to possibilities. I still do this a lot (despite trying not to) and honestly my first knee jerk response to such things is often rooted in a somewhat warped perception of who I am now vs who I was.

Old Davey said ‘no’ to pretty much everything mostly because of hidden fears regarding mobility and embarrassment.

Current Davey occasionally has to be reminded of that from time to time – so I thank her for the gentle verbal kick in the boy parts and the opportunity to re-think my stance on this subject.

My contemplation on the matter resulted in me filling my exercise ring for the day. I did this whilst dancing in my kitchen as I cooked breakfast in the morning, making a salad at lunchtime for my dinner and finally preparing a chilli later in the day for my evening meal.

At times (thanks in no small part to ‘Duck Sauce – Barbara Streisand’ on repeat while my pork mince sizzled with paprika and seasoning) I noticed my pulse getting up to 120bpm.

It has to be said though that this spirited twirling proved to be rather incompatible with chopping coriander with a razor sharp kitchen devil knife, and I think I will instead dismember herbs during quiet contemplation in the future.

Either that internet or I will need to invest in significantly more plasters…

Now if you will excuse me I am re-visiting a favourite film of mine. The Grand Budapest Hotel (IMDB). If you’ve not seen it I highly recommend you seek it out. It’s pretty wonderful.


4 thoughts on “Moobs, bingo wings & duck sauce

  1. 😉 Take it easy tiger haha. Perhaps you could also try some Yoga? 🙂 It really has helped me to build up muscles in my arms without putting too much strain on my wrists (<– has weak wrists), as it has you do plank poses and such.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yoga is actually a long term ‘sort of’ goal 😄

      That roughly translates as ‘Dave in his airy fairy abstract musings things it would be cool to be bendy and flexible but has so far been unwilling to try’ 😂

      Liked by 1 person

      • My friend suggested ‘planking’ (which I’d never heard of) for core strength. I tried it last night.

        After trying it I’m convinced that it’s the kind of thing that Japanese prisoners of war were subjected to. It’s a no nonsense way for me to prove to my body that I hate it…


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