Frogs and blue steel

I neglect my garden. There. I said it.

I’m a bad bad boy – but I’m trying to change (slowly).

My friend however is someone that has significant interest in horticulture and I think my lack of grass and plant husbandry is something that definitely offends his eyes. He’s been gently suggesting we have a crack at it for a few weeks – but for one reason or another we’d put it off.

The problem is that once you let it go a bit wild (which I did when I had a lot of mobility issues) it’s a pretty tough sell to get out there and make a start. It’s also far more fun to go for a walk and enjoy nature elsewhere that seems a bit less like a pain in the ass.

My garden at 10am definitely looked like a serious pain in the ass.

However – when there are two of you to tackle something it can be quite enjoyable, and today there were three. However I have to question the work ethic of the third participant. He seemed completely disinterested in hard labour and instead far more focused on a deflated football from the undergrowth.

Despite multiple suggestions that he take over filling my recycling bin with twigs there was little to no interest and eventually I just let him get on with chewing leather.

It’s very hard to get good help these days.

It was pretty encouraging as I worked to notice the physical changes (in the last 4 months or so since I last had a crack at this) and how much easier it now is to bend down, and work at lower levels than my stomach used to make comfortable.

It really used to make my back hurt as well as making breathing harder – and although it’s still got more heft than it should do there’s little getting in the way any more. I’d even go as far as to say because of this specific change I genuinely enjoyed bringing order to chaos.

There does however appears to be a fringe benefit to letting your garden get a little out of control. The local frog population appears to have benefitted immensely from my absence. They were hopping all over the lawn as it was strimmed and either made their way to a nearby bush for safety or (like this little guy) were deposited in a clump of greenery further up the garden.

Three hours, several coffees, one completely jam packed recycling bin and another 10 refuse sacks later (thanks to the help of my most excellent friend) everything definitely looked tidier!

Tomorrow I’m going to mow the rest of the grass flat (today it was still too wet from yesterday’s downpour to do anything but strim) and make a start on what I think is a large Buddleja crispa bush to the right. Once thats been chopped down to a stump and taken to the tip then its time to have a go at the left hand border (which I’m really not relishing).

For the moment though it’s nice to just see the patio again!

Despite his pitiful level of assistance with the weeds Boris also appeared to be satisfied with what had been accomplished.

Afterwards I made another strong coffee, bid my mate farewell and killed another two birds with one stone by going grocery shopping after dropping the contents of my garden at the tip.

Consequently this evening I’m looking forward to what is going to be a very hearty beef stew – although irritatingly I neglected to get some Chorizo and Bay leaves – so I’m going to have to get a little inventive with the seasoning.

This is particularly irritating because I managed instead to buy things that I didn’t really need – including an item that was totally irrelevant – but that I’m convinced elevates my already jaw dropping good looks to another level entirely.

It’s next to impossible not to ‘vogue’ when I put these sunglasses on, and I just HAD to buy them (dah-links!)

So – if the residents of Warwick see me posing and pouting whilst out and about over the coming weeks they’ll know that it’s probably caused by my sleek new eyewear which seems to unconsciously make me want to perfect my Zoolander ‘Blue Steel’.

I have a little work to do – but I’m sure you’ll agree that the raw animal magnetism that my new sunglasses bring to the table makes the lack of a spicy paprika sausage and bay leaves almost forgivable.

Anyway internet, I better get on with chopping my carrots, swede and leeks. This evening’s awesome symphony of food isn’t going to get cooked by my devastatingly hot side profile alone – regardless of the fact that it will almost certainly contribute to bringing my stew to the boil.

Davey