Monster gain

Well – regardless of how I say I feel about weighing in and being significantly over target today is the litmus test.

It’s 8am on Saturday morning and I’ve got two hours before I have to go and stand on the scales. It’s been eight weeks since I last faced the music and as a (in name only currently) target member I need to do this or my membership will lapse.

I’ve already walked around the park and back to home and I doubt it’s made any difference. I feel bloated this morning and I know the result will not be great.

(Author potters about, shaves his head and heads to group)

Ok. It’s confession time.

I already knew what the damage was going to be – but I also know that it actually represents a win of sorts.

If I’d weighed in two Saturdays ago (when I went to group with my partner but could barely speak to anyone because I was so upset with myself) I would have been around 16st 10lbs.

I know this because on Saturday morning buck naked on my own scales at home I weighed 16st 8.5lbs and my lightest weigh in clothes are 1.5lbs.

I was over a stone and a half out of target after several weeks of off plan emotional eating.

Today my scales told a slightly more encouraging but still rather sad tale.

So – on the up side I’d managed to drop over half a stone in two weeks.

On the down side at group I got an apocalyptic black mark in my book which now looks like this.

The kind lady on weigh in neglected to write the full gain down but I know.

It’s sixteen pounds.

However – it’s not as if I’m not trying to address it, and I’m not slumped face down in a multipack if crisps with a takeaway menu next to my phone.

I took it on the chin, went home and had a bowl of weetabix and some fruit followed by a few carrots and some ham.

Not long after I walked to the supermarket and did some healthy shopping before cooking a lovely on plan evening meal (chilli) for my partner and me.

Furthermore even though it’s rained for most of the day I have still managed to get eight miles under my belt and stay positive.

Screw depression and screw feeling like a failure.

I’m just another person continually battling demons and trying to find a happy medium.

As long as I keep sight of that and just keep swimming then I’ll be back to target in no time flat.

That’s the plan anyway!


13 thoughts on “Monster gain

  1. When you shaved your head, no doubt you assumed you would cast off many pounds. Anyway it created a laugh.

    Your difficulties provide a stream of delight to readers. As you are one of us!

    Perhaps it is time to tell you some of the remarkable benefits you have brought. My Polish friend tells me that it was entirely because of you that she bought a cycle to use in the house. As you crossed America and back and the length of Britain, she has travelled 9,283 km in pursuit! I myself have gone from 19 stone to 13 today (but not without going up to 16 stone in the middle). Now I have a master-plan that keeps yielding, and I aim to pass 12 stone 4 pounds that I weighed when I was 17 years old and my mother used to tell me I was overweight. Which proved unhelpful. Now I intend to reach 12 stone.

    All this is because of you! The fact that you will be celebrating, yet still battling, when you go to the great show in a few days time with your great companion, KEEPS ME WINNING MY BATTLE.

    So, if you, as the commander-in-chief of this honest blog pause a little, your fellow-soldiers in the battle get on with making you proud of what you have created in many other people.

    A deeply-meant Thank You!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh, Davey, you so have my empathy and understanding. Those of us who are prone to putting on weight are in a never ending battle. I lost 70 lbs, gained 20, lost 10, gained 25… currently fighting back as you are, losing the same 5 or 6 lbs again and again. The reason I stick with it is that I know I can do it, and that when I succeed, it feels amazing – and you know all this too. To use an overworked turn of modern phrase… ‘you’ve got this’. Just hold your nerve and stick with the programme. Big hugs from here. Jx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Davey, I know exactly how you feel. I still panic that I’m never more than one bad day away from an astronomical gain. Emotional eating will always be there in our lives, no matter what, but I’m so proud of your honesty and you’re taking responsibility and going back to face the results. In the grand scheme of things, it’s a mere blip overall compared to your phenomenal losses and as long as you keep that in mind, I’m sure you’ll get back to wherever it is you want to be. That I’m sure changes by the day/month as I know it does for me too. Either way, more power to you. 💪🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You have my empathy Davey, this time of year and leading up to the dreaded Christmas I really struggle with my depression ( have post traumatic stress disorder too).

    I’m glad your more positive that always help otherwise things can unravel quickly. Great blog

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Rachael – keep you chin up chuck. Christmas is a rough time for all of us and I doubt that there’s a man or woman alive that gets to our age without some kind of regret or scar to ponder in a quiet moment in front of the Christmas tree – but I know one thing. I have it on good authority that there are people who love and care for you a great deal.


  5. Pah, only 16 pounds? In 8 weeks? I’m weighing in tomorrow and I’m guessing my gain will be about the same but in the space of 3 weeks. I think that means I win 😂

    Whoever takes the ‘best at gaining weight’ trophy, I’ve no doubt we’ll both get those pounds back off in our own sweet time. We got this! 💪

    Liked by 1 person

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